


Confessions

by JustAnotherWriter (N1ghtshade)



Series: Worries of a father and son [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, I REGRET NOTHING, I don't know how to tag this, Jack as Mac's biological father, sorry these tags are a MESS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27492670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/pseuds/JustAnotherWriter
Summary: Now that he knows the truth, he'll be no better than James if he doesn't walk in there and tell Mac. About Ellen, about Kosovo, about everything. He owes his son the truth.His son. It sounds so strange to even think that.A continuation of my fic Past+Future, in which Jack is Mac's biological father.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Jack Dalton/Ellen Jackson
Series: Worries of a father and son [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009104
Comments: 26
Kudos: 65





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I changed Ellen's maiden name (In my defense the first fic was written before the show gave us one). Yes, I know I invented a new relationship tag. No, I regret nothing.

Jack sits in the GTO, wrapping his hands around the steering wheel and clenching and unclenching his fingers. Mac's probably still asleep after last night. Unaware that Jack is sitting out here holding onto a secret that's going to shatter his world more completely than even the most complicated bomb the kid's ever defused.

Honestly, Jack isn't sure if maybe James was right. They were better off not knowing. Because there's a fifty-fifty chance that Mac will be so angry at Jack for leaving his mom that he'll never want to speak to him again.

But now that he knows the truth, he'll be no better than James if he doesn't walk in there and tell Mac. About Ellen, about Kosovo, about everything. He owes his son the truth.

His son. It sounds so strange to even think that.

Before he can lose his nerve, he gets out of the car, walks up to the door, and knocks.

It takes a few tries, but finally a very sleepy, bed-head Mac wanders up to the door, checking the peephole, thankfully, before opening it. Jack has a sudden attack of emotion, thinking about what it would be like to be greeted by a smaller version of this very picture. Mac already looks like a teenager, and it doesn't take much to imagine him even younger, yawning and blinking at being woken up early.

"What are you doing? Family don't knock."

And that's what pushes Jack over the edge. He feels the tear trickling down his cheek without really having noticed it forming, and Mac's mussed figure looks blurred and watery, like Jack's looking into some magic mirror that's going to warp and show him the past he could have had.

"Jack?" Mac sounds genuinely scared.

"Kiddo, let's go out on the deck. I think we gotta sit down."

Mac's face comes into sharper focus, worried. "What's wrong? Did you have a doctor's appointment? Are you dying? Like James?"

Like James. Jack really is no better than that jerk. He's been railing on the man for leaving a kid behind. When he did the exact same thing. He can't decide if it's better or worse that he didn't know.

"No." And that's all he says until they're both sitting down. The damn photograph is still there, sitting on the bench where Jack left it. Jack picks it up slowly.

"There's something you don't know about your mom," he says hesitantly.

"Wait. What?" Mac sits down. "Was there something in the dossier you got from Matty's that you didn't tell me?"

"It wasn't in there, hoss." Jack sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I knew her. Last night, when you showed me this...I recognized her." He hands the picture frame to Mac.

"How did you know my mom?" Mac asks, clearly confused. "I thought you said you didn't even come to California before you met me. You called it snob land. Said the only reason you'd even stay was to keep me from getting myself killed."

"James didn't tell you she was an agent."

There's a terrible sound of shattering glass as the picture frame falls to the deck, and Jack stares at the shards like they're an oracle telling him what to say next. Because if Mac reacted this strongly to finding out what his mom really did, then telling him the rest is going to half kill him.

"She what?"

"Ellen Jackson was a black ops agent when I met her. Specialized in retrieval of items that fell into the wrong hands. We crossed paths on an op in Kosovo that went belly-up for us both." Jack sighs. "It was...an intense forty-eight hours. You know how those things are."

Mac nods. "I still...I just...she..." And then his face goes white. "Is that..."

"She died in a car bombing in Shanghai." Jack doesn't think it's wise to talk around the truth.

There's a choked sob from Mac's side of the bench, but Jack can't stop the avalanche of pain now. He needs to get this out or he never will.

"Mac, the two of us...after we met...we were involved for a while." He waits for some sort of disgusted reaction, but that's more Riley's department than Mac's. She's always the one with some sort of weird joke. Mac just...breathes. In and out like he's trying to stave off a panic attack. 

"Mac?" Jack isn't about to be selfish enough to put his need to tell the truth now over Mac's health and safety. "Do you...Are you okay?" He realizes it's a stupid thing to say the moment it leaves his mouth. 

"I just found out my mom was murdered, because she was an agent, and no one bothered to tell me, do I look FINE?" Mac practically screams. Okay, well, at least Jack getting cozy with his mom isn't the worst problem Mac has with this whole scenario. He turns to Jack, eyes shining with tears and wide like a panicked wild animal. "Did you KNOW?"

"I didn't even know who your mom was till I saw that picture last night." He already said that once, but he doesn't expect Mac's grief-addled brain to recall that. 

Mac nods slowly, then picks up the frame, looking down at the broken glass. 

"So you remember her? You said you..." He trails off. 

"Don't think I could forget. And I don't mean that in a creepy way." Jack shrugs. "She was the kindest person I ever met. Even in a job that can make a person a monster."  _ A monster like me. _

"I just still can't believe it." Mac sighs. "I mean, not you and my mom, but...okay maybe that too. Like, how weird would that have been?" He chuckles weakly. "You were this close to being my dad." 

"Bud, I am." 

The words hang in the air like the smoke from one of the campfires on a day when the air pressure settles in and traps the city smog. Mac doesn't move. Jack can't tell if he's even breathing. 

"Jack, this isn't funny." The words are a harsh monotone when they finally break the stillness. "Even for you. This is too much. Stop joking."

"I'm not. I talked to James this morning. He told me everything."

"That's impossible."

"No. Your mom and I were together in '89..."

"I know how it works. But you can't be my dad. You can't." Mac's shoulders have begun to shake. "That's not how things go."

"I'm so sorry..."

"You're fucking SORRY?" Mac shouts, and there's a thud, he's slammed the picture down on the bench. "Everyone's lied to me my whole life, and you're SORRY?"

Jack doesn't bother to say he didn't know. Mac's got to take his anger and grief out on someone. And better Jack than James or what few memories the kid has of Ellen. James will...Jack doesn't actually know what that man would do. And he doesn't want to taint Mac's few good memories. 

He shuts down, the way he knows all too well how to, while Mac yells and curses and even throws a couple sloppy punches. He can check out and take the hits. But when Mac begins sobbing, crumpling to his knees on the glass-strewn deck, Jack blinks and reaches for him.

Mac doesn't resist, letting himself be pulled into a gentle hug. Jack rocks him back and forth slowly, like he should have done twenty-eight years ago.

He can't say it's okay. Or anything else. But he can hold his son while he cries. He can do that much.


End file.
